A child’s mat is often frightening to parents, because such a child’s behavior can speak of ill-being and undermine the authority of the family. But what reasons actually lie at the heart of childish foul language and how to deal with it?
Why does the child swear?
Of course, any parent who is faced with this problem will be worried - why? There can be many reasons for this behavior. In addition to the external circumstances that affect this problem, there are also age-related factors that can cause a child’s mat. In various age periods of life, children can use foul language in connection with certain moments of their growing up.
• A period of two to five years
At this stage of development of babies, the mat acts as an unconscious imitation. Often, kids hear mate from peers, relatives, passers-by on the street or get acquainted with obscene language through communication tools (television, Internet).
• Period from five to seven years
In this age period, children are well aware that some words are better not to pronounce, and are also well aware of what kind of reaction profanity will cause in an adult environment. However, at this age it is typical to show your daring temper and obscenity, in the eyes of a child - this is an effective way to express your indignation at one or another parental ban.
• A period of eight to twelve years
Pupils of junior and middle management, who have high school students in their eyes all the time, are trying in every possible way to copy their behavior. For children from eight to twelve years old, the mat is a way of self-affirmation in the company of peers. Thus, copying the model of behavior of adolescents, they seem to declare to their peers about their belonging to older children.
• The period of adolescence
Adolescence is one of the most difficult stages of growing up in developmental psychology. Puberty, puberty, first love, and a host of trials that fell on yesterday's child, makes him more emotional, vulnerable, picky about himself and others. Teenagers need to splash out their emotions and for this purpose they often turn to foul language. Mat is a means of self-defense, a way to isolate oneself from the attacks of the outside world, to hide one’s weakness and helplessness.
In addition to age-related features, obscene language in a child can be caused by external circumstances. The main reasons for the baby mat are:
• Mat spread around the child
• Small vocabulary of the child
• Lack of special knowledge on the "legal" splash of their emotions
• The presence of mat in the vocabulary of a person authoritative for the child
• Active use of foul language by the family
• Excessive psychological stress, stress
• The consequences of puberty, a vivid experience of romantic feelings
• The authoritarian style of parenting in the family, that is, strict prohibitions and requirements for the child
• Lack of parental attention
There are many reasons, and not always parents can correctly determine the reason for the appearance of obscene language in a child.
Mat through the eyes of a child
If for adults, mat means a low level of culture and education, then children perceive obscene language in a completely different way. For a child, a mat can have the following meanings:
• Conscious or unconscious insulting a person to offend
• A tool for demonstrating psychological stress
• A way to show yourself older
• Conscious expression of protest, demonstration of impudent behavior
• A way to enter the "reputable" company for the child
• Unconscious protection against psychological trauma
• A way to survive the first romantic affection
It can be concluded that children's obscene language is not always exclusively the lack of education and family dysfunction.
How not to react to a child’s mat?
The main mistakes in corrective work with a child who uses a mat in his speech are:
1. Inconsistency in education
The most common mistake, which, in fact, is a kind of abuse of their status as a parent and an adult. If the child is forbidden to swear, but not to extend this ban to the family and the immediate environment, then attempts to re-educate will not be effective.
2. Trying to shame
An attempt to shame a child, especially in public, is only a method of self-assertion of the parent, an excuse for his helplessness. Such selfish behavior towards a child can lead to psychological trauma and disorders.
3. Generalization
A generalization includes avoiding the topic. Often, after hearing a swear word from a child, parents begin to scold him for all his shortcomings and past mistakes.
4. Punishment without explanation
If you punish the child without explanation of the reason, then this method of re-education will not lead to a solution to the problem, but to an elementary negative reaction to the ban.
Categorically it is impossible to use physical punishment, to remind the child of misconduct and to let the problem go under its own power.
The child swears: the right reaction to child abuse
When a person finds out that his child swears, then he is overcome by natural emotions: indignation, shame, anger. You need to pull yourself together, calm down and act in accordance with the recommendations described below:
1. In a conversation with a child, it is necessary to keep yourself calm and firm, avoiding a formidable look, accusatory intonation, and a raised voice.
2. Inform the child that his profanity is no longer a secret;
3. Inquire from the child what prompted him to use the mat, try to sort out his problem together;
4. Help the child think about the consequences of such behavior, analyze how profanity has affected the change in the child’s relationship with the family and his environment;
5. Having uncovered the problem, it is necessary to tackle it;
6. Help the child find a way to establish a broken relationship, apologize to those who could witness such behavior, teach the child to express his emotions in an acceptable way.
How to wean a child from swearing?
What to do if a child swears? Wean or close your eyes and accept? It is necessary to pay attention to an important factor in the correction of such behavior in a child - obscene language in the family. No technique, advice or remedial work will be effective if the child’s language environment is rich in abuse. If mate in the family is the norm and routine, then a strong desire to correct his child should begin with the education of his own culture.
Also, one of the main factors of profanity is the inability to express your emotions and feelings. By the way, this point applies not only to children, but also to adults. It is necessary to form the child’s skill in constructive conversation and to study exercises that will help to get out of the state of aggression and resentment.
One should not be likened to an authoritarian or conniving style of upbringing; one should in moderation monitor the environment of the child and his psychological state.
In conclusion, it is worth noting that obscene language in a child does not mean a lack of culture and can arise due to the mass of reasons associated with growing up and its attendant problems.
