Too many things to do. One trouble after another. Unexpected disappointments. A "customer support service" that cannot help you.
Minor daily troubles can cause a storm of negative emotions that are difficult to control. The tension rises and ... sooner or later an explosion occurs.
For some, the crisis is expressed in violent tears. Others experience an uncontrollable feeling of anger. Still others suffer, feeling like a jerk. It’s unpleasant to realize that you are an adult, but you stop controlling yourself and become hysterical.
Strategies
To prevent crises caused by daily frustrations and disappointments, use 12 simple strategies.
1. Define your “triggers” (triggers), causing a crisis, and make a plan.
Knowing yourself and your weaknesses will help you avoid troubles before they arise. For example, you know that your weak point is modern computer technology. You often lost your temper in such situations.
Now, giving the computer for repair, make a list of questions that interest you in advance and remind yourself to be polite and respectful to computer scientists. The same tactic will work in the doctor’s office or before an important conversation with a husband or wife. Remind yourself that your goal is not to throw out emotions, but to solve a specific problem.
Ask yourself why you allow little things to influence your mood. The answer may lie in the false belief that you are “special” and that troubles should bypass you. Maybe you think your life should go smoothly all the time. Redefine these beliefs!
2. Try to understand why the little things are so annoying and bother you.
Small stressors can be more harmful than serious life troubles. Everyday troubles undermine our peace of mind, because they arise and accumulate so quickly that we do not have enough time to deal with them. Since you are often already exhausted by the struggle with a more serious event, a new stressor, even a tiny one, causes the effect of the last drop.
3. Define your "stress picture".
Examine your past crises. What are the first signs that you are ready to lose your temper? Are these physical signals - heart palpitations or intermittent breathing, for example? Or emotional signs — let’s say a negative conversation with oneself that others are angry with you or condemn you behind your back? If so, then identify these red flags and use the strategies below.
Do you feel that you are ready to fly off the coils and you urgently need to pull yourself together? What will help you get back on track?
4. Revaluation.
Tell yourself that the trouble you have is a challenge for you, not a problem of catastrophic proportions.
5. Be realistic.
Frustration is a sensation that arises when you do not achieve your goals. The antidote to frustration: realism. Change your expectations regarding situations when you experience a computer malfunction, your child becomes ill, or another unforeseen event occurs.
6. Take a deep breath.
If you realize that your reaction to stress is increasing, take a deep breath to slow your breathing. Breathe deeply. This will help you reduce stress and maintain control over emotions.
7. Ask for what you need.
If appropriate, ask directly what you need. For example: "I am not very good at computers. Could you teach me how to deal with this problem in the future?" Use assertive skills to speak openly with respect for your interlocutor.
8. Repeat useful mantras.
Use your mantra to quickly reorient your thinking. Come up with your own or choose from the proposed ones. Repeat them as often as necessary:
- Do not worry about the little things.
- I will solve this problem, one way or another.
“I can handle this.”
“I'll figure it out.”
“I just need time.”
What you can’t do: four "no"
Never allow yourself to become too:
- hungry;
- evil;
- lonely;
- tired.
Take a break, talk with a friend, have a snack, find a way to relax a bit and regain strength.
Speak to you kindly.
When your emotions get out of hand, express empathy for yourself. Say, "Yes, it's hard, and it will take a little longer than I expected. Hold on." Or "You're done. Keep up the good work" or "You do the best you can."
Empathize with others.
If interacting with someone annoys you, it is also unpleasant for another person. Respect your interlocutor and show a little empathy. Tell yourself: "It must be tiring to explain the same thing over and over."
Sorry.
Recognize that you cannot be perfect, and sometimes you will behave like the last fool. If this happens, apologize! For example, the seller can simply say: “Sorry, I lost my temper,” and that will be enough. For a loved one, spouse or colleague, an apology must be sincere and deliberate.
Unless you are a saint and a sage, crises will occur from time to time. It is important to learn how to prevent them, to be able to cope with troubles and to apologize if you have lost control of yourself.
