Twice in my life I was incredibly lucky to feel, on my own skin, all the delights of relationships with my mama's sons. The first time was a trial version, the second - a full-fledged drama with a complete collapse of relations and theatrical curtain.
For the sake of brevity and ease of perception, in the following narrative I will call them the neuralism “Mamsik”. With the first mamsik we met on the plane. They exchanged phone numbers, called up a week, then he invited for a date. For a long time I wondered why the meeting would take place not in a cinema, but in the middle of a street near a nearby store. My amazement knew no bounds when, at the appointed place, he appeared in the company of my mother. She just went shopping, and having cleverly decided to kill two birds with one stone, she also gave me face control. Which I, unfortunately, passed. Our further relationship was built on spending time together with his friends and my nights with him. In these moments, mom, trusting me, nobly went to visit her friend for a few days. Everything would be great, but Mamsik just wanted to spend nights with me several times a month. He did the rest with his mother (he chose clothes, celebrated state holidays and spent weekends only with his mother and her friends). Other options were not even considered - there were no options in their minds.
The last straw was the fact that it was with his mother, and not with me, that he went to sea for the second time in a row. With that, I could pay for myself a voucher without applying for financial support. I just wanted to go with him and spend my vacation together. Gradually, I realized that I will always be in second place - the honorable first is taken up by my mother forever. I remembered our first dialogue at the airport ... Then I said: "You have a funny bag: blue with pink stripes." To which he proudly and sincerely replied: "I also like it! I took my mother from the curse." Now I have only one question: “Why at that moment I didn’t smell something wrong and didn’t run away without thinking?” Probably because we tend to idealize the man I like.
The second story had more disastrous consequences for me, since it was a matter of living together and creating a family. Our relationship began with his phrase: "I am so glad that you appeared in my life. I am tired of living with my mother and stepfather. I am financially tired of helping them. Can you save me?" And I, the naive soul, again did not feel the threat.
Relationships developed as follows: first, Maman called every night on his phone to remind him: “It’s time later, it's time to go home to sleep.” I still do not understand: is it not a shame to remind a thirty-year-old peasant about this? And, most importantly, why? He understood the absurdity of the situation, but was silent and obediently obeyed. When Mamsik returned from me - she met with the words: "Son, how much I missed you." And then hugged and cried.
Then it became even more interesting. Maman began to invent ways not to let him come to me! Then she needs his help at the dacha, then she needs to do an emergency general cleaning, then transplant the orchids, then take the mushrooms to the forest. At such moments I wanted to blame her. And write off everything on maternal jealousy and envy. But then I began to notice the facts indicating his dependence.
It all started with the fact that we decided to live separately. My mamsik reported this to my mother. She agreed, on condition that we rent the next apartment, on the same landing with her. I joked that only I would manage our housekeeping, and he would go to her to wash the dishes and clean the house. I was already packing my things for the move, literally sitting on the suitcases, when the beloved one said to me: “Honey, I’m not sure that you can do everything like a mom. Moreover, I’m used to it that she cooks oatmeal every morning. ". At this point, the topic of cohabitation was closed. But it was not the end.
The finish in the relationship came on his birthday. He had never been outside his hometown and I made him a gift - a trip for two to the mountains. When the question of buying train tickets arose, he said: “How can I leave for my birthday? After all, mom gathered the cake oven! Let's not go anywhere, I will celebrate my holiday at home.” At the request to postpone eating the cake for another date, I received an offer to move the hotel reservation. As a result, he celebrated his birthday with his mother, and later with me.
After this significant date, he did not talk to me for two weeks and did not respond to SMS. After the days of the terror of his phone, he finally picked up the phone and said that he had already quit, but forgot to say. After some time, our mutual friends told an interesting thing: it turns out, two weeks of silence, his mother spent on diligently setting up her precious child against me. In the end - I won by knockout.
Remembering the last situation, the words of my father constantly come to mind: “The daughter, his mother is domineering, you are with character, you don’t share it.” A wise dad saw everything at once. And what did I see? Probably, the prospect of getting a life partner. And what should I see? And besides him, I should accept and learn to understand his family. After all, in a battle with mothers, we are always losers! She will be the main woman for a man throughout his life. , and make friends. Here are just no guarantee that the girl over time will not be La mamsika second mommy. Let even be beloved.
